Reasons For Voyaging

I'm back. With a new internet cable, so no more screwy internet, and I am very, very excited.

Longer post later, but hope things are well with you guys!

xoxo

 It's funny when a boy that once promised you a future, which you naively believed he meant, has promised a future to another girl, but has taken it one step further. She says they knew it would happen one day.

It's funny when you subscribe to a dream of a perfect future, even though you tell yourself you don't want it, that you know it's not going to happen, but you want to believe in him and all that he promises -- it's almost a better future than one you've pictured so far for yourself, but less freeing than that dream.

And it's funny that I should feel like my heart is a little sore because he promised me the future and even though I long ago gave up on that dream, I still think about it sometimes, what he said, what he promised.

But after the initial shock wore off, I didn't feel anything.

And that's the funniest part of all.

--

I'm at uni right now, scamming off the free wireless connection we have here... mine is pretty dunzo at home, but that's okay, I'm getting a new cable on the weekend hopefully *crosses fingers* and then I'll be able to do a million things I want to do... on a slow speed internet because someone has downloaded so much stuff that it's put us close to our limit for the month... even though we're barely half way through.

I've got a busy weekend -- three major assignments are due Monday and Wednesday and between that and stressing about that, I'm in for a longgg weekend. Going drinking though Saturday night *yus*

Currently obsessed with the Libertines. As scary as Pete Doherty is, the music is actually really good. I don't know if I should be ashamed or not!

Hope things are good with you all!

xoxoxo

P.S: The Bank Job was the funniest movie I've seen in a while... Jason Statham is kinda hot.

Ahh, it's been forever. My internet is the most screwy thing in the history of the world, and it's beyond frustrating, but I'm determined to be around more, posting things about my life and being better about this whole LJ thing. I think I say that quite often, but this time I mean it!

So what's changed? I've discovered and become addicted to Torchwood. Like, counting down the days til the first season DVD is released here addicted.

I've finally seen all of Gossip Girl, (released here on 15 August, 8:30, TV 2, yay!) and that show is even more addicting than Torchwood.

The Dark Knight was amazing. The Joker was fantastic - I was worried it wouldn't live up to the hype, but it did. One of my friends said she was bored in it, I wanted to cry for her. 

And uni is uni... I only go three days a week so I really should not complain... but man this work load is intense, and once we go out into placements it's going to be even worse... I'll be doing 11-13 year olds, which is really going to be interesting and a true experience. It's definitely not what I want to teach, but I want to graduate so...

And I am in like with a boy who is not Blair, and that makes me feel awesome x a billion. It's about damn time I moved on from that one.

I miss you guys! I'm going to try comment on the most recent entries... til my internet cuts out!

xo

Title: Four Times Blair Drunk Dialled Chuck and One Time She Didn't (But Wished She Did) 
Disclaimer: 'Gossip Girl' is the property of Cecily von Zeigasar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copywright infringment intended.
Pairing: Blair/Chuck
Warning(s): ... Sexual references and swearing, and spoilers for episode 17.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: Happy Graduation to my best friend...

Note: I actually posted this on a different diary a few days ago, but I thought it would be a good way to update things over here... with a big, long, novel. Cut, for people who don't want me stretching out their friends page.


And to end:

Title: Escape Routes For Beginners 
Disclaimer: 'Gossip Girl' is the property of Cecily von Zeigasar, Josh Shwartz, and the CW. No copywright infringment intended.
Pairing: Blair/Chuck
Warning(s): ... Sexual references. I think that's it.
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: This fic began with a picture on the front of a card, and became something I've been working on for well over a month. So here, at long last, is a much belated birthday present for the best friend a girl could ever ask for. xox.

Hello my darlings, how are we all?

I've been non-stop busy since I got back from Christchurch, which by the way was average... not somewhere I'd go again with my family, but maybe it'd be more fun going with friends when we'd actually go to bars and clubs and stuff. Bon Jovi, on the other hand, was amazing and I'm so glad I went. There's nothing more amazing than seeing a band live that are so awesome and know what they're doing, and Bon Jovi, he was just an amazing performer. He'd be right up there with Mick Jagger, and sitting 13 rows away from him and dead center was just ... awesome. It's such a buzz and a high to see concerts like that. Bring on Matchbox 20.

Since then, it's been work, work, work, assignment, work, and maybe occasionally some sleep. And this week is much the same, although I did go out into the sun for a bit today and now my face feels slightly burnt.

All the good shows are coming back finally so now I might actually re-enter the TV world that I left behind a while back. Yay! 

Did anyone see Superbad and actually like it? Because I saw it yesterday and felt like I wasted 6 bucks renting it out... and Lucky You or whatever it is with Eric Bana and Drew Barrymore was not much better, which is a shame because I love Drew Barrymore.

And I've said goodbye to Blair. I seem to say that often, but this time I mean it. I'm not the type of girl who lays their heart on the line and then sits around hoping one day the guy will say something back. I don't work that way. It took a lot of courage for me to actually lay my heart on the line the first time, let alone a second. So it's done, over, goodbye. I think it's about time.

And now... the last part of this update is that I may momentarily be taking another hiatus. My computer ate my charger again. I think. I'm hoping once it cools down it'll work again, but there are no guarantees so that's where I've disappeared to. But I'll be updating as often as I can.

xoxo

P.S;; Ivonne, would it be possible for you to email me your postal address? I want to send you something that you'll like. Hee! If you need my email address let me know.

xo

Does anyone by any chance have either Forever by Papa Roach or Sober by Kelly Clarkson? I'm currently in love with these two songs and reallyyy want them but my program isn't letting me download them. Will love anyone for life who can upload them for me...

P.S: Packing sucks. Dad got this "bright" idea that to avoid lines that the domestic terminal supposedly has, we'd take next to nothing and fit it into hand luggage, I.E under seven kgs. All good in theory, except that none of us bar him have been there before, we have no idea what we're gonna do down there except for the concert, and he was undecided if we were going to go anywhere nice that would require nicer clothes. Now that's all awesome, except for the fact that if we do, we need to take a dress or whatever. Then there are shoes. I got mine down to 5 kgs, I'm taking my readings book for my class with me like a good, hard working student that I am... [not], a dress, and it better be a place that accepts the wearing of jandals with dresses if we do go out. Tomorrow I shall swelter to death in the heat wearing jeans and a hoodie just in case of freak snow storm / a cold rainy night in Christchurch, most likely the night of the Bon Jovi concert....

And one of my best friends and I are currently planning a trip to Australia in November... yay! We will not be scrimping on luggage allowances... who cares about waiting in line? I'm taking a suitcase... probably almost empty because of my shopping addiction. So I shall be starving and broke for the better part of this year but when we get there it will all be worth it... if we actually do this. *crosses fingers*

I'm backkk... except I'm heading away tomorrow for the long weekend. But! I have a charger and it works and the pretty little light that tells me my computer is charged is on and oh how I love that little light. 

Now I can watch Gossip Girl again because I'm shamelessly addicted while I force myself to pack. *sigh* Let it be known, I"m not a packer. Or an unpacker. I unpacked from my new years holiday like... a week ago. 

Hope you all are well! xoxo

I'm temporarily disappearing. I'm not giving up on my new years resolution to update this and be around a lot more, but my computer battery has gone screwy and I cannot currently afford to buy a new one. Have borrowed my sisters but I only have an hour on it - half an hour left at the moment. Urg. 

Don't know when I'll be back... hopefully sooner than I'm currently picturing.

xo

So currently I'm typing up my English assignment that is due tomorrow... aka, about ten hours from now. Technically, I've had two weeks to bypass this moment of utter terror and stress and realisation that I hate every single word I'm typing and that this is going to get a low mark because, well, it's bad. And why it would be interesting to any person but me is just beyond me. But I'm handing something in, because then I at least have a chance of a C-. C's get degrees, as the saying goes. {It's popular with the boys who somehow managed to get into teaching, but none of us are entirely sure how they got passed the interview process.}

I'm thinking about Gossip Girl because I'm utterly obsessed and I'm totally in love with Ed Westwick. It's a shameless addiction that show. Despite the fact that Courtney tells me Ed resembles a bucket on a mop, I think he's lovely and gorgeous and that is the word of the moment because that's just how I roll. Hee! 

I saw Alvin and the Chipmunks today, and it was cuteee. Now I just have to see Cloverfield because apparently it's awesome and I'm totally intrigued... which I guess the point was of releasing a movie without giving away many details of the plot, let alone the ACTUAL title. Alvin and the Chipmunks, totally worth a looksee, and a great way to waste a day when you're supposed to be typing up/writing assignments, which will then be left til the last minute so you have something to complain about in a post on LJ. 

And reason number 13434095740375605496743 you don't leave an assignment til the last minute? Picture this. Making edits on your draft in pen, and then deciding to retype it out on your laptop computer. Turning your laptop on, which has been playing itunes all day because you're currently in love with a song called Remembering Sunday by All Time Low, and discovering your battery is very, very flat, despite being plugged into the charger. You discover the only way you can get it to charge is to hold the battery cable in yourself, and type one handed. When you have a thousand word assignment to get typed, it has no appeal when you know you can do it at 90 wpm with both hands. When you're still making edits, also, mentally, that you want to add in as fast as possible. Then comes the panic as you realise there's eleven hours to go, you want to start cleaning your room and get some sleep because following school, you also have 6 hours of work tomorrow. Your battery dies. Your dad is saying that classes and work is no excuse for a messy room and that it must be done by the end of the weekend and not to complain because he didn't make it the way it is currently. So in panic, I turn to my sister who luckily comes to my rescue with her own cable. My laptop is now displaying the pretty orange light I have fallen in love with that means it's charging and I can actually type without worrying I will lose my work and be forced to sneak onto dads computer at 3am to type out a mentally written assignment.

And then Sam, the boy who is constantly taking me by surprise and was exactly what I never pictured myself being attracted to at the start of the year offers to drop me off his if I'm still panicking and my sister's isn't working. Great boy, wayy too used to my breakdowns the night before assignments are due. Usually he's beside me asking me to edit his too, haha. 

And watch out, roads of New Zealand. I passed, second time, so I can now drive legally on my lonesome. Yeahhh boy! (Tonight, I'm trying out the whole gangsta thing. It appears not to be working.)

And now back to the perils of assignments. The lesson for today kiddies? Don't leave it til the last minute and don't play itunes all day knowing your battery cable is being a retard.

TVGuide.com: What do you love about playing Chuck?
Westwick: Well, it's the multiple layers, it has to be. He has this dark side that has this interesting angle because the other characters are a nicer bunch, and Chuck has this demonic, evil side. But we saw in later episodes that he does help other people out and then goes back to his old ways with the whole love affair with Blair. He's actually in love with her, he thinks he's found the one. I think we've only seen a small part of what he is.

My day  has officially begun good.

Full post to come later, tonight probably. Maybe.

New year, new resolutions... definitely time to start being a person who updates journals frequently. :)

Had the most awesome time down at Papamoa with the girls and boys, I'd been dreading going, I did not see how 8 of us could share a house and not kill each other, especially with all the drama that had been going on recently, but it was actually just such a good time... I definitely wish I was still down there. There are now some insane photos floating around on my facebook. Haha.

In saying that though, I'm in love with my summer school course. I took my general education paper during summer school to lighten my load (and get Fridays off) during first semester of SECOND YEAR! (Cannot believe it's actually already second year) and my paper is known as English, 121G. I had no idea what to expect from it, I hadn't actually bothered really reading any course descriptions or anything... but it turns out it's a lot of writing... and creative too. The first assignment is pretty challenging however, as in, I have no idea what story from my past would be good enough to talk about how it made me who I am today and who I am becoming.

So I'm stuck and all I can think about is my new love/obsession.... Chuck/Blair. Oh how glad I am that I started watching Gossip Girl. So unbelievably awesome, i am shamelessly addicted to a show and I have no idea why the show is even so great.

So basically I've been having a great time since Christmas, and I've been just loving the life I'm living. Until today. I'm a good driver usually, I've been practicing a lot, I've had a million lessons with a paid instructor, etc etc. Today I went to sit my test, and I failed. Like, stop the test half way through and go back to the station, failed. I truly cried my eyes out. In my car as soon as the guy got out. And now I've rebooked for a secret date that no one is going to know about til I actually pass.... at least it was only 50 dollars this time, instead of the 90 bucks for the first try.
Then, I get home and my phone has a couple of texts on it, only, I can't get into my inbox because my phone is Motorola and was the worst purchasing decision I made. Now my phone is up to 5 unread texts and still going, I'm having withdrawls and I'm frustrated as hell... and my bank account balance in no way will let me buy a new one for, oh, the next ... month or so.

Oh, and for Christmas, I got tickets... to Matchbox Twenty, along with their new CD which is a MUST HEAR. Also got Maroon 5 tickets who are being opened for by OneRepublic which will be awesome too... and I'm accompanying my sister to Bon Jovi at the end of this month... should be an interesting show I guess.

I'll be back... with C/B fic.

xoxo

P.S;; Ivonne, I hope you're feeling a bit better sweets! :)

Title: Cling and Clatter
Author: urkonstantine23
Fandom: Gilmore Girls
Rating: PG
Pairing: Rory/Jess, Rory/Dean
Spoilers: All to be safe.
A/N: First attempt at this fandom and pairing, written for a request... would love to write more of this pairing though if people think it's worth my time and energy! Please leave comments/opinions.

I have absolutely no idea whatsoever where this came from. It's just a random fic based on one of my favourite couples (TimxLyla) with my favourite ever thing (angstxromance) from one of my favourite shows (Friday Night Lights). It's short, but it's just really a test run.

Right now, life is so insane. So much happens, yet I feel like I'm not doing anything at all, just waiting for the next day to come.

I got my finals back. I passed every single one I sat, which is a new thing for me, but I'm happy overall -- I'm finally free of high school forever. I'm disappointed with my English results, so I'm waiting to get the papers back so I can go over them and see if its worth getting a remark, but we don't get them til February, so it's a waiting game. But even better news than passing is that I got into university. So as of like Monday, I am officially a University student studying a Bachelor of Education majoring in Primary, and I'm excited. The whole process of picking classes is a little weird but I'll get through it. I start on Feb 26, and I just can't wait. I need a new life, new people, people away from the high school crowd. I need a new guy too, one who isn't going to continually break my heart without realising he does it.

I'm not so sure why I let him anymore, but its hard because he knows exactly what to say, even when my hearts shut off to him, he knows exactly what to say to make me smile, and there are days when I need that more than ever. And then I wonder why it hurts when I learn that he's lying or he's done this or done that or has a girlfriend he failed to mention. I know I don't want to be that girl, but I just want to know what he's so damn afraid of. He said it himself. He wants to be with me. He wants a relationship. I don't think that was a lie, it's not his style to be that open unless he means it. One of my friends said it perfectly, he's sincere about the things that it takes a lot for him to confess, its just hard to trust the rest. I think he's just scared that he's going to stuff up, and I won't forgive him, and he'll lose me out of his life completely, whereas right now, we're trying this whole lame friendship thing that is going absolutely nowhere and feels entirely pointless, and he won't just lose me. He'll lose his (and my) best friend too, because we've been friends a lot longer. My (and his) best friend agrees with me. He's just running scared. But in the mean time, I'm kinda over waiting. I spent a month without him in my life before he decided to come back and turn my heart upside down again, and I had fun. He's been away, and I've had fun then too. And this time around, I'm not stupid enough to trust him again... so when he gets back, I'm not sure how I'll go about being his friend when that's not exactly what I want, but I don't really want more either -- I don't want a broken heart. Not again.

I'm not even sure how I can trust any guys right now -- not when my supposedly almost perfect best friend can cheat on his girlfriend too. This guy my mother loves to death, thinks I should marry, yada yada. My grandmother asks about him every time I see her. He's been in a relationship for a long time, and sure, he has his moments where he's a bit of a jerk to her, but they've lasted through it all. And then he tells me he cheated on her before she drove down to spend the rest of her break with him, and then proceeds to tell me also that the guy I like has a girlfriend, despite all the stuff he'd said to me way too recently. He makes me promise not to tell her, but I think a whole lot less of him now.
He won't ever tell her, I know that. He said he was drunk, but that's no excuse at all, especially because I'm 99.9% sure it happened more than once. It just annoys me and disappoints me more than anything. I hate that me and the girlfriend are supposed to be trying this whole honesty and friendship thing out for the last time, and I'm meant to be seeing her in a couple of days and I'm supposed to smile and be like, "oh yeah, he's an awesome guy, I'm glad he makes you happy." I can't tell her because she wouldn't believe me and it would create more drama than I can be bothered dealing with. I hate the fact that I got betrayed about a guy I was almost-nearly-but not quite possibly in love with and know almost exactly how she feels, since we just both got screwed over by two best friends, but I can't tell her. I've been friends with him for the majority of my life -- the speaking years, at least. 16 years. I can't betray him, but I'm not so sure I can look him in the eye anymore either. I hate cheaters, and liars, and people that betray. He didn't do it to me, but god. He still did it. Doesn't that count for something?

I want a new boy. So bring on the hot guys studying Phys Ed at our uni. Haha. There's bound to be some. Hopefully ones who don't lead girls on for way too long, continually build up their hopes time and time again, and then shatter them and leave, repeat cycle.

It's so hot here right now, the humidity is way up the wazoo. 

And here I am.. sitting on the computer, deciding what to do. Haha. 

Maybe a fic about my new obsession, Friday Night Lights? If you haven't seen it, CHECK IT OUT. It's amazing. It's a show on NBC, and if you live in the States I think you can possibly stream it on their site. I've seen six episodes, and I'm obsessed. It's just a new love, literally. Hot boys, football, and based on my favourite movie. What more can I want in a show? I'm done with OTH, sadly, I've given up on it, but this show is making it all better, it's filling the void. I want to marry Matt Saracen. And possibly Tim Riggins... and I'm ship crazy already. Haha. GO WATCH! Seriously. I'm gonna go attempt something and see what happens.

<3

Happy new year to all! I haven't had computer access in way too long, let my sister borrow my computer to watch what I assumed was one DVD and didn't see it for over a week.

Christmas was definitely filled with its usual family drama but it was a nice day, I definitely can't complain about it being summer here on Christmas day, it's just weird thinking that last year I was in London with all the snow and stuff which I also loved.

New Year was relatively low-key by normal standards -- just a group of us hanging out as a group barbequing dinner and drinking and just chilling really for possibly the last time for a while, as we split in different directions for university.

And so now begins the nervous and tense wait for letters and results. I'm into my course for definite for next year, but the university can't accept me yet until they have my results, which they get even before I do. A screwed up system, but hey. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed because with the way they mark, you never can tell exactly what they're going to give you, as I've explained to a lot of adults who seem to think its your fault if you don't pass. If you interpret take the question a different way, or the markers take it differently, bam! Nice big fail. A little nerve wracking.

I'm glad its a new year though, it's time to make a lot of much needed changes, and I'm already loving the freedom I have from not being in school, although I'm not sure when I'm going back to work. Hopefully soon... Christmas sales kinda left me broke... and going to the movies too... but I definitely enjoyed two out of three that I saw -- Marie Antoinette and Charlottes Web were really enjoyable and I liked both of them, neither of which are my usual taste in films. Did not enjoy Night at the Museum, but I didn't want my dad to go by himself.

So right now I'm about to go and sit down in front of a DVD, probably the first season of Third Watch which we just got and just made me fall in love with the show (And two hot boys on the show) all over again. I still can't believe that show ever got cancelled. *sigh* And there is possibly maybe a chance that some fic will follow this... here's to hoping my motivation likes me tonight.

<3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Laguna Beach, or the characters of this fic. I'm just borrowing them to get my happy ending.